Monologue

(Geoffrey is sat at home in the bedroom, he is sat in the armchair with a glass of wine)

I'm bored. I've tried so hard to satisfy Susan, but the most attention I get is from Mrs Smith from the shop down the road. I get the same food everyday and as much i'd like to, shall I say, spice up our life in the bedroom, she has none of it. She's not happy and neither am I. I want her to be involved in my spirituality, I want her to be involved with my status and I want her to be involved in my popularity. I do well in my job and everything I can to please both Susan and God - what if she's bored too? What if she doesn't understand mine and God's role in the community? Maybe I need to help her find God. She's left me no choice..

I met Mrs Belcher last night. She came over to discuss the Winter fete next month, and wanted to add a religious aspect to it. I'm delighted the people here are so into religion, except Susan of course. Mrs Belcher looked ravishing, wearing her pearl earrings which lit up her face, and her angelic blonde hair. Things got too far, and we had a little tiff. I feel so ashamed, but Susan looks so bored and displeased recently, and I am to, this is why i'm hoping to meet with this fine lady tomorrow eve. I hope God forgives me.

She should feel lucky. It's not my fault she's not appreciating my importance here, because I am of course the most essential ingredient to our community. I don't care if she's bored, I have loads of other ladies falling at my feet, I don't know how anyone could not like me.